Delusional

So it's been almost a whole year since my last post. I guess the fact that I am still holding out hope means that I really am delusional. However, I still think God has a plan for me related to this baby thing. It might not be what I expected and it certainly won't be soon (God's timetable is different than mine) but still...

Nothing has really changed. I should change the name of my blog to "Over 40 and NOT pregnant" but that seems like it is giving up. I don't really want to give up. I know what the odds are. I know that it is not likely to happen, but I still can't help but to hope. Yes, I still hope. And hope. And hope. It doesn't cost anything. It doesn't hurt anything (yes, I do feel disappointed and I cry sometimes, but that doesn't seem like a high price to pay for not giving up). OK, I know it's delusional to most people (doctors and such) but so what? Every time I think it's an impossible dream, I randomly hear some story about some 40+ woman who became pregnant naturally. It does happen. Just like winning the lottery happens. I want to win the lottery, only I want the jackpot to be a healthy baby. It could happen!